Type 1 Tales

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Having a pretty rough night tonight.
Debating whether or not this is all worth it.
If you had have asked me 4 years ago what the worst thing I could possibly imagine happening to me is, I would have told you “type 1 diabetes”
I would have told you that I would rather die than have to go through that.
And now here I am 2 1/2 years after diagnosis wondering how the hell I am going to live the rest of my life like this.

People keep telling me that ‘I control my disease, it doesn’t control me’.
But when I’m constantly sick and with a blood sugar of 20+ mmol/L and I just can’t bring it down, I feel like it controls every action every single day and I just want it gone.

If I believed in an after life, if I believed that death would make it better, or enclose any feeling if relief I would have done it by now. But this is all I have. If I end it now I still would have died with diabetes and I still would have made nothing of myself.
If I die now this is all I ever will be. But how can I even become anything more with diabetes holding me back very single time.


Sorry about the pessimism tonight but I really just need to put this out there somewhere. It’s doing me no good just swirling around in my head

Filed under diabetes type 1 diabetes depression actually diabetic actuallydiabetic t1d

9 notes

Fellow Tumblrbetics!! I need your help!!

lepidoptera-and-insulin:

So I met with my diabetes educator today to learn about insulin pumps, and I found that of all the pumps I learned about, the Medtronic seems like the one for me. I’m trying to qualify for the Minimed 530G with the Enlite sensor, and my educator told me that to qualify, having frequent lows is a…

Oh my god. It is actually crazy that it is so hard in other parts of the world to get a pump that a diabetic educator would actually advise you to have more lows and lie about your blood sugars. That is the most ridiculous thing. 

Our health system here in Australia is far from perfect, but if you have had health insurance for more than 12 months and your endocrinologist deems it ‘medically relevant’, then the insurance company will cover the cost of the pump. That’s all there is to it. 

I’ve only had insurance for 3 months and Animas have agreed to loan me a pump until my insurance has matured and will cover it. 

It actually makes me really mad that in other parts of the world people aren’t afforded the same rights. 

Filed under t1d type 1 diabetes actuallydiabetic actually diabetic diabetes

23 notes

http://namelessarah.tumblr.com/post/87707903132/i-can-deal-with-the-common-misconception-of

namelessarah:

I can deal with the common misconception of diabetes.

I can deal with all the pitty I get.

I can deal with the people who think they know more about my disease than me.

It’s okay it just means people are either stupid or they misunderstand the matter.

And I don’t give enough fucks about…

Filed under diabetes t1d type 1 diabetes actuallydiabetic actually diabetic